How Are You Healing
by Kathy Hampton
Recent posts on self-awareness, self-accountability, and service to self has led me to further explore, what I believe is the best part of the self-care process: the beautiful, subtle and underlying action of healing.
Healing is the mind, spirit, and body’s way of mending its wounds and trauma. It is a holistic repair to sustain life. The process may take days, months, or even years. It requires one to be open to receive, accountable, and take action to heal.
In this post, we’ll look at real stories of healing in three people’s lives--two narrations are from friends, the last account is about me. My friends permitted me to share their stories.
Evita Leonard - Loving Her Birds
I’ve known Evita Leonard for over thirty years. Along with the rewards that come from success, her life experience includes painful circumstances. Watching from a distance, I didn’t know about her suffering; Evita managed to camouflage pain well. In a recent conversation about work, she interrupted our discussion to reveal a shift in her life. Interrupting is something Evita doesn’t regularly do. She is one of the best listeners and most respectful people I know. The interruption alerted me that a life change was happening.
“I must tell you that I am so happy I get to watch birds in my backyard,” she said, “they bring me so much joy! So much so, I’ve purchased several bird feeders, seeds, and birdbaths. I even bought squirrels enough food, so they’ll leave the birds’ food alone. I love watching them. I’ve given the birds names and can recognize the ones that come to the yard daily. I’m in such a great place. I might join a group and get more involved in birdwatching. Or I can get out in nature and just sit in my backyard, watching them.”
This sidebar activated my acknowledgment of a shift in Evita’s life. She had a deeper awareness, resulting in changes to her personal and professional lives also. From our conversation, I felt her consciousness and knew she was holding herself accountable. It was apparent: Evita chose to sustain her joy through birdwatching.
I asked Evita if I could use this revelation in this post. “Please do,” she said, “I’ve grown so much and am open to sharing my growth and joy to help others.”
“You are healing,” I responded.
La Detra White - Her Garden is Her Refuge
La Detra White became a “Friend” through Howard University Alumni’s Facebook page. We both went to Howard in the 80s but had never met. She is a successful business owner, an overall accomplished, funny, knowledgeable, kind, and down to earth person. Since the pandemic, we’ve had the pleasure of connecting virtually twice. Most recently, La Detra expressed personal healing via Facebook Live; she shared how her garden saved her from despair. Witnessing her testimony and heart-wrenching emotions were as joyous for me, as it was for La Detra.
Weeks earlier, I had watched the video of her creating the garden. But now, to hear how it became a refuge: an awareness of La Detra’s slipping into despair, the symbolism of what gardening was for her mother, and the strengthening of the mother-daughter connection. La Detra’s mother had also received healing through gardening years earlier.
I cried, laughed, and smiled while experiencing La Detra’s testimony. It resonated with me. La Detra had gone through the steps: awareness, accountability, servicing of self, and the beginning of healing to grow and sustain joy. She’s gone on to serve others by creating knowledge and a resource base for new gardeners and cooks as she demonstrates her joy in natural beauty and healing.
Kathy Hampton - Uncovering My Imposter
As you may expect, I am a practitioner of self-awareness. Introspection has always been a natural ingredient in my life. However, lately, I’m questioning my hesitancy and procrastination to move closer to what I want for my life. After walking my walk and talking my talk, self-awareness uncovered my imposter.
Imposter Syndrome was coined in 1978 by psychologists Drs. Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Imes, after studying high-achieving women. Through their study, Clance and Imes concluded these women dimmed their light, possessed beliefs of inadequacy, and discounted prior experience and achievement. This condition is more common in women than in men.
I thought my earliest experience of doubting accomplishments occurred during the first year of law school. However, in a women’s empowerment summit recently, I acknowledged that I’ve been trying to prove myself to everyone since childhood: parents, siblings, teachers, so-called friends, my spouse, and even myself.
That simple acknowledgment set me free; a fire lit under me. I used accountability and service to myself without doubt or fear. I also moved forward with one of the first programs I’d been putting off. In my eyes, it was a success. I am joyful about this outcome through the process of healing. I sustain this joy as I continue creating the life chosen for myself. There is no imposter - I am who I say I am.
Kathy A. Hampton, Founder
Wellside Retreats – Transformational Destination Retreats and Life Coaching Services
Email: info@wellsideretreats.com
Website: www.wellsideretreats.care